HE WRITES…….
Hello Amber! Listen, I went to your website and I was hooked! You are incredibly inspirational. I too was married, and I won’t lie, I was the cause of the end of it. Not because I was really looking for greener grass, but to try and get some attention. We had started so strong, friends and true lovers. And as tragedy and life happened, we drifted. And I drifted farther than she did. The truth is I never felt like I deserved any happiness. And the happier I could have been, the more miserable I was. I’m not proud of it. But it is the path I chose. Now, instead of living in a home, I rent a room in one. And my daughter…I know I have not only hurt her and let her down, but I have also tainted her views of men in general. Her mother moved on…it appears that I hurt her so bad that she found love again with a woman. I envy her. She is a great mother and, believe it or not, we are still friends of sorts. Why am I telling you this? LMAO!!
I say this to you because it has been 3 long years of growing up and facing the man I was. And having done that, I know what kind of man I want, and should, be. I’m not a hottie by any means. I’m over weight, but just look husky. I was in shape most of my life, having been in the military from the age of 18. I eat horribly. I rarely exercise other than work, which is in the security field. I have no real friends. My family is a long distance away. And my daughter tolerates me about every other weekend for a few hours.
But…it’s time to start being alive again. I can’t change the past, but I can say how my future will be! And I have decided that I need to make friends. And would love to have you as one. I don’t have much money, but that doesn’t matter. I am a good listener. I love spending time just being with someone. And, the above aside, I do love with all my heart and soul. This isn’t where I wanted to be in life at my age, but it’s my fault I’m here, and it’s up to me to make it better.
So, if I haven’t scared you away. I would the opportunity to get to know you better. I promise that I actually am better than I sound, lol! If not, then thank you for your time. It was a pleasure reading your blog. I found it funny and insightful.
Take Care,
Mathew
Dear Mathew,
What would make you deserving? You asked to be my friend after admitting that you cheated on your wife and broke your daughter’s heart and her faith in men. You also told me that you don’t care enough yourself to make and put in any real effort. You called yourself ”Husky” and ugly, told me that you eat garbage which means you are garbage, and on top of that you are lazy and broke. Why should I want to be your friend?
You sound like a horrible person, a complete and utter waste of flesh. If anything I should be pissed that you are here on this planet taking up space….
What did you imagine I would say to you? You posed the question, “Why am I telling you this? LMAO!!”
Did you think I would find it amusing? Should I be laughing at the mess you’ve made of your life?
You asked to be my friend, well… these are things I say to my friends. Are you still interested?
It’s time to start being alive again Mathew. You said it yourself and I couldn’t agree more. Three years of reflection is considerable. I wonder about your plan or were you expecting ME to have one?
I do.
I have a plan to change your life.
I know how to help you become a man that your daughter is proud of.
I know how you can make up for the wrongs.
I know how you CAN make it right.
”The truth is I never felt like I deserved any happiness.
And the happier I could have been, the more miserable I was.
I’m not proud of it. But it is the path I chose…”
THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal,
that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights,
that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
Mathew,
Do you know what happiness is? It is written in our constitution an unalienable right. We The People have the right to chase a state of emotional elation.
HAPPY
Mathew, you are a man just like every other, an equal; why is it then that you’ve always considered yourself undeserving of happiness? I want you to say it out loud because it sounds absolutely absurd.
“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal,
that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights,
that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness…
Everyone except Mathew. He’s a dick.”
All men are dicks. You don’t get to be special. It’s written in the constitution and before that there was God, if you believe in such things. God said that all men are sinners and then he sent Jesus to earth to hand out chapter books on fornication and malice to be clear of what he expected of people. Pat yourself on the back Mathew. You are doing God’s work AND serving your country at the same time by your choices of pursuit.
WHY AREN’T YOU HAPPY?
That’s the beautiful thing about soul. It becomes both relative and impossible when faced with science.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.
NEWTON’S THIRD LAW OF PHYSICS
This law applies to your life, as do the rest. Imagine it like this, “You can be the nicest, you can be the best, and the result will be evil, and failure. Sounds crazy, but it’s true. Have you ever heard to saying “nice guys finish last.” You can thank Newton for that. All life leads to the death of something, even the best of them. I know that you carry a tremendous amount of guilt for your failures. I could feel it in the tone of your letter, and so it is that you have both my attention and a two day reply with extensive contemplation….
TO BE CONTINUED
